Late-night hosts talked Donald Trump’s second month in court docket as former fixer Michael Cohen testified for a second day.
Stephen Colbert
“The final 4 weeks have been filled with lurid, stunning sexual revelations that we discovered six years in the past,” stated Stephen Colbert on Tuesday’s Late Present, as Donald Trump’s prison hush-money trial entered its second month in New York. “It’s been an actual case of déjà eww.”
On Tuesday, star witness Michael Cohen, Trump’s former lawyer and fixer, continued his testimony. Based on Cohen, the previous president instructed him to pay $130,000 to Stormy Daniels for her silence with the order: “Simply do it.”
“In response, Nike has modified their slogan to ‘Yay! Sneakers!’” Colbert quipped.
Trump reportedly took in Cohen’s testimony along with his eyes shut, almost response much less, shifting solely sometimes to whisper or move a be aware to his lawyer. “And I’m being advised we’ve one of many notes”, Colbert joked, studying “Shhh! I’m attempting to sleep”.
Cohen additionally stated it was Melania Trump’s concept to categorise Trump’s “seize them by the pussy” feedback on the notorious Entry Hollywood tape as mere “locker room speak”.
“Properly that is sensible”, stated Colbert, “as a result of any time Trump tries to get close to Melania, she lockher room”.
The Every day Present
As Trump enters the second month of his prison hush-money trial, the courthouse in New York “is changing into a pilgrimage web site for all of his supporters and wannabe VPs”, stated visitor host Desi Lydic on The Every day Present.
This week alone noticed Republicans comparable to Vivek Ramaswamy, JD Vance and the Home speaker, Mike Johnson, categorical their help for Trump exterior the courthouse. “It’s just like the Met Gala for individuals who don’t consider in ladies’s rights,” she joked.
By far the “weirdest” look was from the Alabama senator Tommy Tuberville, who complained concerning the “miserable” courtroom and stated “psychological anguish is attempting to be pushed on the Republican candidate for president of the USA”.
“Psychological anguish?!” Lydic laughed. “This dude spends day by day whining about how gen Z is just too woke with their secure areas, and now he’s out right here like, ‘The wallpaper is giving the president trauma. These fluorescent lights are literal violence!’”
“I’m certain Trump appreciated all of his buddies coming by to cheer him up,” Lydic added. “However possibly they might simply tone it down a notch? I imply, it’s kinda arduous for Trump to argue that he would by no means cheat on his spouse when there’s a line of dudes exterior ready to suck him off.”
Seth Meyers
And on Late Evening, Seth Meyers additionally mocked Trump for showing to go to sleep in court docket for a full half-hour throughout Cohen’s testimony on Monday. “Once more? You realize, I used to be excited for this trial, nevertheless it looks as if the one factor we’re carrying out is ensuring that Trump is properly rested earlier than the election,” he stated.
Cohen testified that Trump “wasn’t pondering” about Melania when he instructed him to pay $130,000 to Stormy Daniels for her silence. “Yeah, no kidding”, stated Meyers. “I’d be stunned if he was enthusiastic about her on the wedding ceremony.”
Amongst those that attended Trump’s trial this week was former Republican presidential candidate and present VP hopeful Ramaswamy, “although he needed to be eliminated as a result of he saved screaming ‘I’ll look ahead to you!’” Meyers joked.
And Warner Bros Discovery introduced that it’s growing two new movies within the Lord of the Rings franchise, “simply as quickly as Gollum wraps up his court docket circumstances”, Meyers quipped subsequent to a photograph of Rudy Giuliani.
