The prosecution: Jenny
Our neighbour thinks Ed was impolite – the mature factor to do could be to make an apology to clear the air
There’s been a little bit of leaf-sweeping drama on our street this autumn. Just lately I used to be away with my husband, Pete, in Jamaica. I put our son Ed answerable for tidying up the fallen leaves in our entrance yard whereas we have been away.
Once I got here again, I used to be stopped by our nextdoor neighbour, Linda. She was aggravated at how Ed had swept the leaves and felt he’d piled them up in order that they have been nearer to her facet of the street, and that he had been a bit blase when she introduced it up with him.
I listened to her considerations and apologised on behalf of our household. Personally, I don’t assume Ed has finished a foul job, however I do assume we must always do every part we are able to to keep away from battle with neighbours. It’s the wise factor to do, to protect concord in any respect prices. However now Ed is offended. He says he spent two hours attempting to assist out and that Linda was impolite to him.
Ed doesn’t need to apologise or rearrange the leaves; he’s even threatened to not sweep them up once more. I do assume that could be a tad immature. He’s a 23-year-old-man who lives at house and he must get higher at taking suggestions. He additionally must toe the road whereas he’s residing beneath my roof. My husband and I don’t ask him to do a lot, and he doesn’t pay any lease.
I admire Ed’s assist. I belief that he wasn’t impolite to Linda, however sadly, that’s not how she has perceived it. I mentioned to Ed: “Typically in life it’s a must to apologise even whenever you haven’t finished something incorrect. It’s unfair, however it’s simply a kind of conditions.”
Linda is an aged woman who has simply moved in, so we must always humour her a little bit and ensure she is comfy with residing on our street. Ed must cease being so dramatic and simply transfer the leaves a little bit – it’s not an enormous deal and would solely take him 5 minutes.
He doesn’t must grovel, however he ought to make peace. I need him to knock on Linda’s door and kind this out, however he sees it as an admission of weak point. Extra leaves will fall, and I’ll count on Ed to do extra sweeping within the subsequent few weeks. It’s not an choice to ignore this subject, or forgo this explicit chore whereas he’s residing at house.
The defence: Ed
I’m being punished for doing a very good deed. Apologising would make me seem like a pushover
My mother and father went away and requested me to kind out the leaves on our driveway. There’s a massive chestnut tree that grows on the finish of our street, and through the autumn the fallen leaves accumulate on the pavement. My mum hates it when the leaves construct up, as she thinks it makes the entrance of our home look messy. So I obliged. It’s one of many autumn jobs that I at all times do, and wish to assume I do it properly.
Nonetheless, I’ve now obtained right into a mini-war with Linda over it – fully accidentally. I swept the leaves right into a pile, which Linda says is partially in entrance of the gate to her home. However there’s a small hole between our homes and I feel I really swept the leaves within the hole between them.
Maybe the pile barely leans extra to her facet, however that’s life. It’s not blocking entry to her home or something, and it’s a really neat pile. However Linda wasn’t comfortable and advised me so on the street whereas my mother and father have been away. I identified that she hadn’t swept any leaves up herself, and that I’d finished her a favour by clearing the leaves in entrance of each our homes. It took me nearly two hours to comb up all of the leaves.
However she didn’t like my rebuttal. Linda claimed she was at all times going to do her facet and she or he didn’t thank me for serving to. The subsequent week she talked about this dialog to my mother and father after they returned, and now my mum thinks I ought to apologise to Linda and in addition rearrange the pile of leaves.
I disagree. I wasn’t impolite and I haven’t finished something incorrect. Mum desires to maintain the peace and I do get that. However I don’t assume I ought to apologise for decreasing Linda’s workload, particularly when she was snarky with me and snitched on me to my mother and father.
I’m 23 however I understand how to respect my elders. I’ve at all times swept the leaves and have gotten on properly with all our neighbours. I feel my mother and father ought to inform Linda that there’s no drawback with the leaves as they’re, in any other case she’s going to assume we’re pushovers. Failing that, I’ll simply cease sweeping the leaves in future. I really feel like my good deed has been thrown again in my face.
The jury of Guardian readers
Ought to Ed placate his mum by apologising to their neighbour?
Ed’s responsible for certain. Falling out with neighbours is unhealthy enterprise, particularly over a pile of lifeless leaves! Positive, Linda feels like a ache, however is it well worth the aggro? It’s Jenny who must cope with the fallout.
Kate, 29
If this have been Linda v Ed, I’d again the younger man day by day … Nonetheless, it’s actually Ed v Mum. I’m not spiritual however the Bible says “Honour your father and mom”. Ed, take be aware: Jenny’s home, Jenny’s guidelines. If you happen to don’t prefer it, transfer out!
Thomas, 29
Ed is within the incorrect however not for the explanations he thinks – he shouldn’t apologise to Linda, he ought to apologise to his mum.
Patrick, 32
Given Ed has swept the leaves for years, and the earlier neighbours (if there have been any) didn’t appear to have a problem, Linda is reacting harshly simply to make a fuss.
Ronan, 26
Though Ed is 23, the phrases “snarky” and “snitched” recommend an immaturity, as does the risk to not sweep the leaves once more. Nonetheless, he mentioned the matter straight with Linda who ought to have left it at that. It has been handled. Simply be sure you sweep up the leaves higher subsequent time.
Stewart, 63
Now you be the decide
In our on-line ballot, inform us: ought to Ed make an apology?
The ballot closes on Thursday 14 November at 10am GMT
Final week’s end result
We requested: ought to Rog cease smuggling his hip flask into the theatre the place his spouse works?
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