The prosecution Ellen
Rog doesn’t get drunk within the theatre, however my repute might undergo if he’s seen taking a swig
I work in a theatre and get free tickets to numerous reveals. However each time I carry my husband Rog, we have now the identical dialogue about him sneaking in his hip flask.
I like Rog, and I like how he’s good at smuggling drinks into festivals and occasions. He’s excellent at making issues enjoyable and serving to us lower your expenses, however I’d slightly not have him be referred to as “the man with the hip flask” at my administrative center. Each time I take him to a present, Rog desires to herald “Mr Aspinal”, a little bit flask in a leather-based case.
I’m not frightened about his consuming – he likes a drink socially and I suppose the theatre is a social event for him. Rog says he has an emotional attachment to Mr Aspinal as a result of it was a marriage current from his greatest man, however I don’t suppose that justifies it. It’s embarrassing. There are additionally usually free drinks at press nights anyway, so it’s pointless.
It wouldn’t be so dangerous if I didn’t work in theatre, however once we’re attending a press evening, or we’re with individuals we all know, I need to make a very good impression. I’ve simply began a job at a brand new theatre and I don’t need associates and colleagues to suppose we’re low-cost. I really feel it’s cheap to ask that Mr Aspinal stays at house.
When Rog and I first began courting, I took him to see Ready For Godot at a theatre pageant in Wales. All through the play I heard him opening tinnies. It was fairly jarring, however as a result of it was early days, I didn’t say something.
Eight years later, we at the moment are married and issues have progressed to the hip flask. It’s extra discreet than opening a can of beer, however I simply can’t bear the considered him sneaking drinks into my theatre and somebody seeing him.
In my wedding ceremony speech, I mentioned Rog brings the enjoyable, that he’s the “chief leisure officer” in our relationship. I like him for that, however it could distract from my work and have an effect on my repute if individuals noticed him take a hip flask out and take a swig from it throughout a efficiency. I’d actually just like the backing of Guardian readers on this matter.
The defence Rog
So long as I’m being discreet, what does it matter to Ellen what different individuals suppose?
I don’t suppose it’s unreasonable to carry out a hip flask within the theatre. Mr Aspinal may be very elegant and really demure. He’s in a leather-based pouch and I believe he’s very civilised. Everybody used to have a hip flask again within the day. It was like sporting a trilby – it’s an indication of days passed by.
I’m very fortunate to be Ellen’s plus-one to the theatre. I’ve seen some nice productions. I take Mr Aspinal together with me as a result of with a hip flask you possibly can simply have a little bit nip right here and there. You don’t have to attend till after the present.
I need to emphasise that I purchase drinks within the theatre as effectively. I might all the time purchase a glass of wine, even after I’ve acquired Mr Aspinal. It’s not as if I’m making an attempt to cheat the humanities sector out of drinks cash. I’m additionally accountable with my consuming: I’m a critical skilled – a trainer – and I’d by no means get drunk at these occasions. Nevertheless it’s good to have your individual little pouch of booze. I often fill Mr Aspinal up with whisky or rum, however mezcal is my favorite. Mr Aspinal has nice sentimental worth to me, as a result of it was a present from my greatest man after I married Ellen.
Relating to the tinnies I took to a present on one in every of our early dates, I didn’t realise it was a fake pas, however I used to be teased afterward. On reflection, the can-opening noise was fairly loud and I admit it was the incorrect factor to do. I wouldn’t try this now.
However I do ask Ellen every time she invitations me if I can carry the hip flask. She retains saying no. Thus far I’ve by no means gone in opposition to Ellen’s needs. The very last thing I need to do is make her really feel uncomfortable, or really feel as if she’s jeopardising her skilled repute.
However the larger challenge is why she cares concerning the opinions of others. Strangers shouldn’t care about me bringing a hip flask in. And so long as I’m not making a idiot out of myself, Ellen shouldn’t care both.
I don’t suppose we needs to be so frightened concerning the judgment of others. Saying that, I’m to see if readers agree with me.
The jury of Guardian readers
Ought to Rog depart his hip flask at house?
Depart the flask at house and purchase a drink on the finish of the efficiency. Frankly, Rog’s want to carry a flask to occasions is regarding. Is he deflecting a extra critical dialogue about his downside with alcohol by shifting the main focus to Ellen caring about what others suppose?
Kalah, 45
It’s comprehensible that the thought of Mr Aspinal coming into Ellen’s office makes her uncomfortable. Regardless of how elegant Mr Aspinal seems, Ellen shouldn’t have to fret about her plus-one bringing a boozy plus-one of his personal. Being referred to as “the man with the hip flask” isn’t a very good look.
Vera, 33
Though I don’t see something incorrect with having “a nip” on the theatre, Rog is already having a glass of wine whereas he’s there, so it’s not as if he has to go with out alcohol all night. He says strangers shouldn’t care however these aren’t strangers, they’re Ellen’s colleagues and – rightly or wrongly – in a office workers are judged. So he ought to respect her needs and depart Mr Aspinal at house.
Amy, 48
Rog ought to depart Mr Aspinal at house. He is aware of that Ellen doesn’t like this behaviour and it seems low-cost and unprofessional. As her husband, he ought to hearken to her, particularly since she simply has began a brand new job.
Tarciane, 35
They appear a beautiful couple, however Rog must respect the cheap boundaries that Ellen has set given it’s her office. I’m certain they’ll work it out although.
Dermot, 54
Now you be the choose
In our on-line ballot, inform us: ought to Rog depart his hip flask at house?
The ballot closes on Thursday 7 November at 10am GMT
Final week’s outcome
We requested if Harriet ought to cease drying her underwear throughout the flat.
67% of you mentioned Harriet is responsible.
33% of you mentioned Harriet is harmless.
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