The prosecution: Vivienne
If Fernanda’s canine strikes in, my cat will get harassed and never come house. That will break my coronary heart
Fernanda and I are engaged to be married and have been in a beautiful relationship for 2 and a half years. Fernanda moved in with me in March final yr – my home can also be house to my son, Dylan, my canine, Daisy, and my rescue cat, Michael.
Fernanda has a rescue canine, Roo, who I’ve banned from residing with us as a result of she chases Michael. Michael will get on rather well with my canine however he’s not a fierce cat and at all times runs away when one thing upsets him.
Final yr Fernanda had an evening out with pals, and introduced Roo round so I might take care of her. It was an entire catastrophe. Roo wouldn’t calm down. At night time her barking disturbed my sleep so I put her and Daisy within the lounge. Then, Fernanda stumbled in drunk at 2am, went to mattress and slept by way of Roo’s barking. The subsequent morning there was uproar when Roo noticed Michael and chased him out of the kitchen. It was terrible. There was a lot barking and scuffling. Michael ran to my neighbour’s home and didn’t return for 3 days.
After that, I mentioned Roo couldn’t dwell with us. My coronary heart hurts for Fernanda, however Michael is my child and that is his house. If we’ve got Roo right here, Michael will get stressed and run away once more. That will break my coronary heart.
Roo now lives at Fernanda’s ex’s home, 20 minutes away, and Fernanda visits him usually, so it’s not like Roo doesn’t have a house. Fernanda desires to get an knowledgeable in to assist Roo and Michael coexist, however that seems like such a palaver. You must crate them and get them used to one another by slowly transferring the cages nearer collectively. I suppose it will be horrible; Michael’s by no means been in a cage and Roo wasn’t crated when she was little.
I settle for Fernanda has needed to sacrifice extra in our relationship, nevertheless it’s as a result of I personal my house and I’ve a son, so the one choice was for her to maneuver in with me. I do love Roo as she’s a beautiful canine. My coronary heart hurts for Fernanda, however I’ve had Michael since he was a kitten, and I don’t wish to make him really feel uncomfortable in his own residence.
The defence: Fernanda
I’ve put in additional effort to regulate to Vivienne’s life than she has to mine. Roo simply wants coaching
Roo is my child and my little one, similar to Michael is Vivienne’s little one. Besides I should drive 20 minutes 3 times every week to see my child as she lives with my ex. It’s getting tedious. I’ve been doing it for 3 years, however Vivienne gained’t welcome Roo into our house.
The night time all of it kicked off was a mistake on my half. I ought to by no means have gone out. All my faculty pals have been on the town from overseas and I didn’t wish to miss out. That night time disturbed Vivienne’s sleep and upset Michael. Roo generally wants a stern telling off, and Vivienne doesn’t have a stern voice. However that was greater than a yr in the past, earlier than I even moved in, and that was the final time Roo was allowed in the home, which I believe is unfair.
I tolerate Michael bringing useless animals into the kitchen. I’ve put in additional effort to regulate to Vivienne’s life than she has to mine. I’d be glad to get a pet whisperer in to assist the animals get on, however she has mentioned: “That’s too arduous, we will’t do it.”
When Michael goes to stick with a neighbour, it’s solely ever for a most of two or three days, however Vivienne shall be completely distraught. She must be open to the risk that the animals might get alongside. She makes it tougher than it must be.
Roo is an English pointer crossed with a labrador. She’s sensible, playful and I believe she’d be taught to adapt actually shortly. I actually miss her. My ex was out at a Christmas get together lately so I was in a position to go round and sit on the sofa together with her. Simply having her head nestling on me is particular. I miss the quiet, in-between occasions once we cuddle or throw a ball.
Vivienne needs to be extra open to permitting Roo to come back for an extended weekend, then the animals might get to know one another. However Vivienne gained’t even entertain it. I haven’t began searching for knowledgeable assist but as a result of will probably be too heartbreaking to do all of the analysis after which have Vivienne say no. What with visiting after which having to depart Roo, I already get heartbroken 3 times every week.
The jury of Guardian readers
Ought to Fernanda settle for Vivienne’s banishment of her canine?
Vivienne’s place appears to be “I really feel unhealthy for you, however I’m not going to point out any compromise in anyway.” Fernanda’s suggestion of looking for skilled assist could also be price a attempt, although who is aware of if it can work out.
Eva, 29
It’s ridiculous for Vivienne to base her judgment on one incident. She ought to put extra effort into welcoming Roo into the household. Canines can simply be taught to simply accept cats. If Michael is already used to 1 canine, he’ll get used to 2.
Eleanor, 58
There must be compromise right here and I believe getting in an knowledgeable is price making an attempt. This may very well be on a trial foundation, with the acknowledgement that if the battle between Roo and Michael persists, then Roo could have to maneuver again in with Fernanda’s ex.
Thomas, 25
Vivienne is judgmental of Fernanda’s night time out and is ready in her methods. Fernanda acknowledges her half in “that night time”, however her suggestion is truthful. Who places a cat and canine freely collectively for the primary time? Was “that night time” a deliberate transfer by Vivienne to stop Roo ever transferring in?
Sandra, 45
In time, animals normally get used to one another and get on. Roo needs to be introduced into the house. Vivienne says, “I do love Roo as she’s a beautiful canine.” If Vivienne’s son additionally loves Roo, it’s only Michael who must get used to her, so they need to give it a go.
Susie, 63
Now you be the choose
In our on-line ballot, inform us: ought to Roo get a second probability?
The ballot closes on 16 January
Final week’s consequence
We requested whether or not Gabriel ought to hearken to his girlfriend curb his enthusiasm with regards to political trolling.
10% of you mentioned no – Gabriel is harmless
90% of you mentioned sure – Gabriel is responsible
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