Brian sits, hyped up together with his personal significance, glowering at me via the kitchen window. He desires to come back in and sometimes lunges on the window to make his level. I’m not even certain what he’s grumpy about – it’s a fantastic week for Brian. As a result of blue tit sightings (sorry, did I point out Brian is a blue tit, or Cyanistes caeruleus as he’d put it on his LinkedIn?) in gardens had been up virtually 10% on the earlier 12 months within the RSPB 2024 Massive Backyard Birdwatch. In the meantime, Cosmopolitan journal insists sky blue is the “must-have hue” for spring.
Possibly Brian is crotchety as a result of, regardless of his magnificence and soprano trill, he stays within the No 2 slot of most-spotted birds, one other 12 months trailing to the frankly relatively drab home sparrow. Or perhaps he’s in a flap as a result of all media consideration has centered on the collapse in starling numbers – the bottom since counting started in 1979.
I’ve tried explaining to Brian that we journalists are educated to deal with unhealthy information – and that starlings being on a purple listing of endangered chicken species is simply that. However I sense he has a sure scorn for the groupthink mindset of starlings and their murmurating. Like a Channel swimmer’s disdain for a synchronised swim squad.
Total, there may be little excellent news within the annual chicken survey. Within the 5 years to 2023, chicken populations have declined by 2% throughout the UK, and by 7% in England on account of local weather disaster, lack of pure habitats and chicken flu.
The RSPB suggests we make small adjustments in our gardens, corresponding to leaving grass uncut and avoiding pesticides to assist survival charges. However perhaps there may be an excellent simpler first step – to make buddies with our feathered guests.
Brian and I met on the avian equal of Tinder, an internet app known as ChirpOMatic, which identifies birdsong and markings and has alerted me to so many birds stopping for a breather in my patch of backyard. If solely we might discover time to really admire the wonder and friendship of birds, even we naturally harmful people would possibly instinctively turn into their protectors…
Pastry pilfering
The Solar newspaper undertook a superb investigation final week – monitoring dozens of individuals going into branches of Greggs and wandering out with out paying for bakes, biscuits and doughnuts.
We’ve been studying in regards to the shoplifting epidemic for years. What we’re coping with could be very sometimes incidents of individuals in actual want appearing out of desperation, and extra typically individuals who not want to play by the principles, corresponding to paying for his or her steak bake.
There’s a host of explanation why individuals could really feel so disengaged from society that they not need to shell out for a sausage roll, all the best way from rampant inequality, lack of belief in politics and large enterprise, to atomisation and polarisation on account of social media algorithms. However the ethical argument – which the precise is a lot more practical at making – is that it’s merely bang out of order.
The Greggs investigation is so impactful as a result of the bakery chain lies on the coronary heart of British life. A survey final 12 months confirmed it was the UK’s hottest “eating model”. And for each shoplifter, there are a dozen lowish-paid Greggs staff and clients compelled to witness this sneering on the guidelines. These are the individuals who must see law enforcement officials on the town centres, as introduced by the house secretary final week. In the event that they don’t, they’ll be voting for whoever convinces them they may. It’s time to get powerful on pastry pilfering – and the causes of pastry pilfering.
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Filled with Easter promise
Easter has turn into the brand new Christmas. However higher. Retailers are filled with Easter-themed paraphernalia, from door wreaths to egg cups. As a substitute of cranberry sauce and sprouts, there may be roast lamb and asparagus. As a substitute of stuffed dates and jellied oranges, there may be chocolate, chocolate and chocolate. As a substitute of Baileys and mulled wine, there may be gentle, glowing English wine. As a substitute of purple and inexperienced baubles, all the things is pastel shades and adorned with chicks and bunnies. And as an alternative of to-do lists and procuring missions and events you’ll be able to’t get out of, there may be… nothing. Simply the heat of spring sunshine.
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