Bridget Jones is again and as soon as once more blazing a brand new path, this time as a widow. In Mad Concerning the Boy, our eternally chaotic however lovable everywoman is navigating single parenthood, relationship apps and grief. However in contrast to most widows in romcoms, she’s not right here to wither away in a beige cardigan, politely mourning till society deems it acceptable for her to like once more. As a substitute, she’s in mattress with a 29-year-old park ranger named Roxster, proving that therapeutic doesn’t must be quiet reflection – it may possibly additionally seem like nice intercourse with a youthful man.
That is the place Bridget breaks the mould. In most romantic comedies, ladies’s grief is pitched as an issue to be solved. We should bear a interval of deep self-reflection earlier than we’re allowed again into the world of want. We should heal, study after which – possibly – we may be kissed below some twinkly lights on the finish of the film. Hilary Swank’s character in P.S. I Love You waits for divine permission from her useless husband’s letters earlier than even enthusiastic about relationship once more, whereas poor Demi Moore in Ghost is emotionally tied to Patrick Swayze for ever, selecting to simulate foreplay with a reminiscence over intimacy with the dwelling.
However Bridget? She swipes proper on Roxster earlier than she’s completed crying. She laughs via awkward intercourse. She’s messy, unpredictable and refuses to observe the script.
And but, as I watched, I couldn’t assist however assume: if this had been a movie a couple of male widower, none of this may be value commenting on, solely as a result of the large display mirrors again to us what we’re taught in society. After the loss of life of a partner, males are seen as eligible, whereas ladies are seen as wounded. Males’s grief in romcoms is framed as a part of their attract. They’re given an air of romance, their ache making them extra engaging. Sleepless in Seattle opens with Tom Hanks’s character having barely completed the eulogy earlier than ladies are throwing themselves at him. In Love Really, Liam Neeson’s character will get a charmingly tragic backstory earlier than he’s seamlessly arrange with Claudia Schiffer. And who can neglect the explanation why The Vacation is a agency Christmas favorite amongst ladies: Jude Regulation as “scorching single dad” who speaks about his emotions but barely about his useless spouse. His position was to not fumble via self-reinvention however to function the dream man who helps a girl consider in love once more.
Watching Bridget refuse to play that sport felt oddly private as a result of I’m a widow, too. My husband Greg died of most cancers in 2021 after I was 41, leaving me with two small daughters and an enormous void. The scene of Bridget dancing and singing together with her kids of their home – a daily incidence in ours – was significantly poignant. For me, it’s a true depiction of being the solo father or mother left behind, making an attempt to supply pleasure to your kids regardless of being engulfed by grief.
Additionally like Bridget, I’ve been bombarded with well-meaning however wildly conflicting recommendation about how I ought to be grieving whereas rebuilding my love life: “You’re nonetheless younger, keep open to like, however don’t rush into something”, “Deal with your self first”, “Don’t you need to seek out somebody new?” Grief doesn’t include a handbook, but folks appear satisfied that in case you don’t observe a selected timeline – one that’s sluggish, quiet, and palatable – you’re doing it fallacious. The concept a widow might merely need connection, enjoyable and even simply good intercourse with out it being framed as both self-destructive or groundbreaking stays surprisingly radical.
That’s what makes Bridget Jones: Mad Concerning the Boy so refreshing. Sure, she grieves. However she additionally does what so many people truly do – she makes errors, she follows dangerous recommendation, she makes dodgy magnificence selections. And crucially, she doesn’t wait to be healed earlier than dwelling her life once more. Therapeutic is messy and contradictory; generally it means intercourse with a scorching youthful man merely since you need to.
After all, the movie isn’t good. There’s nonetheless a component of the basic “widow’s journey” trope, the place grief should in the end result in reinvention. By the top of the movie, Bridget isn’t simply relationship once more – she has found new objective and self-worth. However for all its predictability, Mad Concerning the Boy nonetheless appears like a step ahead. It dares to point out a widow who isn’t ready for permission to be completely happy once more. It acknowledges that grief isn’t linear. And most significantly, it lets a girl be messy, humorous and fascinating after loss – with out making it really feel like an ethical dilemma.
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