A barrage of messages in the course of the night time broke the information to Ahmed Alnaouq that his household house in Deir al-Balah was not the most secure place in Gaza – as he had as soon as thought. It was on that autumn night time nearly a yr in the past that he discovered that nearly his whole household had been worn out in a single Israeli airstrike.
1000’s of miles away in London, he had woken from his sleep immediately feeling a deep unease, he says. Moments earlier than, his father, siblings, their kids and a cousin had been killed – 21 relations altogether.
“That bomb that day modified my life for ever. I reside right here [in London] however they’re all the pieces I care about,” says Alnaouq.
Solely a cousin and their baby survived the strike, which might have been even worse had it taken place a number of days earlier. Greater than 50 relations had been crowded into the home due to its perceived security, proper within the centre of Deir al-Balah in central Gaza – a great distance from Gaza Metropolis, which had till then been the main target of Israeli operations. However lots of these relations left simply earlier than the strike on 22 October.
Alnaouq’s expertise of members of the family being killed in battle predates the previous yr’s battle. Within the 2014 battle in Gaza his brother was killed in one other Israeli airstrike. The character of his grief then, he says, was totally different. That point, he had just one brother to mourn, however this time he misplaced his whole household. Every time he considered one particular person, he felt his ideas drift to a different.
He had additionally been residing in Gaza when his brother was killed, below a siege imposed by Israel that compelled him to consider his personal survival at the same time as he mourned. This time, from outdoors Gaza, he felt a guilt that was new to him.
He has channelled that guilt into relentlessly talking out for Palestinians – particularly these in Gaza – primarily via his platform for younger Palestinian writers, We Are Not Numbers.
“I’m extra centered. The aim is 100 occasions extra highly effective than ever earlier than. It’s not solely about my household however it’s additionally about all the pieces that’s taking place in Palestine as a result of proper now all the pieces is magnified,” he mentioned. “Now I see the individuals I lived with, my household, being bombed and I’m right here in London, the UK, in a rustic that’s complicit in a method or one other.”
He was sceptical about writing for a world viewers, which he felt didn’t perceive Palestinians and noticed them purely via the lens of violence, however the platform has flourished.
It has helped develop English-language writers by offering coaching classes and partnering them with mentors overseas. A lot of these writers work in journalism now, essential sources of reporting from inside Gaza, particularly with international journalists not allowed in by Israel. Others weblog or write poetry that provides an alternate view of day by day life within the strip.
The organisation has suffered its personal losses – the workplace area it used for writers to congregate and practice in was bombed, whereas 4 members and the co-founder had been killed up to now yr.
However the group additionally produces extra content material than ever, publishing day by day and making an attempt to pay writers with the assistance of donations – one thing they didn’t do earlier than however are extra eager to now that so many are in determined want.
Alnaouq says sooner or later the group must rethink the way it can function, to help the various writers now dispersed round Gaza, in Egypt, or additional overseas. Within the meantime, they’re getting ready to publish two anthologies of the organisation’s work that can come out within the subsequent yr, which he hopes will present an perception into what life in Gaza is like, particularly earlier than the battle.
“Folks within the west assume that every one of our issues began on the seventh of October however to know Gaza, don’t perceive it from the seventh of October – learn our tales,” mentioned Alnaouq.
Alnaouq believes they’ll shed some gentle on the sensation of desperation that has permeated the Palestinian territory.
Information of dying from Gaza nonetheless involves Alnaouq. In September he was instructed of a cousin and her three kids being killed. He wonders what has occurred to lots of the others with whom he has misplaced contact.
Alnaouq calls Gaza a “litmus check” for the world’s morals, to see whether or not it can arise and put an finish to the violence.
“The elimination of Hamas doesn’t justify the killing of the whole individuals of Gaza,” he says. “Each single day, for a yr, we’ve got seen issues that we will by no means unsee. We have now watched issues we will by no means unwatch, heard tales we can’t unhear,” he says.
“Ever since I’ve been very, very busy talking about Palestine and about my household. Folks from the surface would assume that I’m extra privileged than another Palestinian and possibly I’m as a result of I’ve my job right here, I’m doing okay,” he says.
“However life doesn’t have any which means – the sensation of survivor’s guilt is overwhelming. Even once I do one thing good, I win an award, nothing has any which means, life doesn’t have any which means. ”
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