Late-night hosts delve into Donald Trump’s traditionally low ballot numbers after his chaotic first 100 days in workplace.
Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart appeared on The Each day Present with a cartoonishly lengthy pretend beard to indicate 100 days of Donald Trump’s second administration “I’m so drained,” he croaked. “It’s ageing this nation in Tom Hanks in Castaway years.”
Stewart then performed a collection of clips of the administration touting Trump’s second time period as an unqualified success. “Suck it, Jefferson! Suck it, Lincoln! Suck it, Roosevelts squared,” he exclaimed. “Trump’s first 100 days is like if America landed on the moon and killed Bin Laden in the identical mission! ‘Thought you could possibly conceal on the moon, Bin Laden? Get him, boys!’ In keeping with Trump, probably the most profitable 100 days within the historical past of our nation. Can anybody provide a counterpoint?”
Counterpoint: a compilation of stories clips outlining the chaos of the primary 100 days, together with financial volatility over Trump’s tariffs, outrage over Elon Musk’s “division of presidency effectivity” (Doge), and the bottom approval ranking for a president in 80 years.
“Suck it, Herbert Hoover!” Stewart joked earlier than clips of Trump claiming that the economic system will “roar” when he takes workplace, throughout “a brand-new Trump financial increase”.
“Sadly, it’s fairly clear that on the economic system, Donald Trump did make a boom-boom,” Stewart stated. “Maybe Trump feels so constructive as a result of whereas the economic system is headed south for most individuals, there have been some winners!”
Stewart then dug into Trump’s bluster on the tariffs, together with baseless claims that he made “over 200 offers” with completely different international locations, of which there are fewer than 200. “We’re on this place as a result of we’ve been offered this concept of Trump because the grasp,” Stewart defined. “The artwork of the deal. Solely he can convey these nations to heel. It’s all bullshit.”
“Trump is so conceited, he thinks the leverage is his. It’s ours. We the folks!” he continued. “It took the folks greater than 250 years of striving to reside as much as a constitutional republic and rule of legislation, painstaking fairness that you’re squandering. That’s the crux of American exceptionalism. You simply need to make us ‘nice’. That’s a downgrade! Our model isn’t strategic uncertainty, and you aren’t the keeper of our pot of gold. You’re a momentary leprechaun.”
He concluded: “The extra enamored, President Trump, you might be together with your authoritarian whims, the extra that you just flip our shining metropolis on a hill into simply one other unusual, despot-led, sea-level shithole.”
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Present, Stephen Colbert famous Trump’s favorability ranking as little as 39%, the worst numbers since polling started. “I gotta consider that’s exhausting to listen to,” he stated. “Nothing Trump has completed to this point is especially fashionable in any of those polls to this point, however the factor that’s actually dragging him down is his dealing with of the economic system.
Colbert cited an ABC ballot that discovered seven in 10 Individuals thought the economic system was “not so good” or “poor”. “The opposite 30% are both in a coma or in his cupboard. Or each,” he quipped.
One other ballot confirmed that solely 35% of Individuals approve of Elon Musk. Maybe associated, Tesla’s revenue fell over 70% within the first quarter of the 12 months. “You can not purchase that sort of advertising,” Colbert deadpanned. So Musk introduced that beginning in Might, he’ll step again from the federal government and return to working with the corporate. “Sure, he desires to be there personally at Tesla to supply all his most valued staff his sperm,” Colbert joked.
Musk promised to chop $2tn from authorities spending, then modified it to $1tn, and solely made a verifiable $63bn discount in authorities spending. “However they’re hoping to shave off a pair extra billion by making the Air Pressure change to Kirkland Signature fighter jets,” Colbert joked.
Seth Meyers
On Late Evening, Seth Meyers mocked Democrats’ feckless response to the Trump administration. “What this administration is doing is an unprecedented constitutional disaster,” stated Meyers, “like his repressive shakedown of faculty and universities. What are you guys doing about that?”
In keeping with Chuck Schumer, congressional Democrats despatched Trump a “very robust letter simply the opposite day” asking “eight very robust questions”.
“Is that this a constitutional disaster or Jane Austen novel?” Meyers laughed. “The man doesn’t even learn his presidential day by day briefing – you suppose he’s sitting by the mailbox ready for a letter from Chuck Schumer? In case your neighbor is blasting home music at 2am, you don’t write him a letter. You pound on the fucking wall till he stops.”
Meyers mimicked Schumer: “We despatched him a really robust letter with eight very robust questions, and we stated, ‘Pop quiz, Mr Trump.’ And if he will get them unsuitable, we’re going to say ‘Tsk tsk,’ after which we’re going to present him a D- on his report card. Sadly, we are able to’t give him an F, as a result of the final time we did, he drew a line and he turned it into an A, and we stated, ‘Aw, shucks. He tricked us once more.’”
Meyers imagined Trump’s response that Schumer would by no means get: “Chuck, simply received your letter, so sorry. Guess it received tousled with the opposite mail. Gonna get again to you ASAP on all eight questions. Simply don’t need to rush it, as I might let you know took numerous time with yours, and need to repay you with the identical thoughtfulness and type sooner or later.
“To ensure your correspondence reaches me as rapidly as attainable,” he continued, “please be certain to wad them right into a ball and stick them immediately up your individual ass. Finest, Don.”
Jimmy Kimmel
And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel poked enjoyable at Trump carrying a blue swimsuit to the pope’s funeral, the place everybody else was wearing black. “Fox Information, you could bear in mind, had a collective aneurysm when Obama wore a tan swimsuit to a press briefing,” Kimmel reminded. “Man oh man, if Obama had worn a blue swimsuit to the pope’s funeral? Sean Hannity’s head would’ve exploded inside Trump’s ass.”
On Air Pressure One, Trump was requested if he had any plans for his spouse Melania’s birthday whereas they have been in Italy. He answered: “I’ll take her for dinner on the Boeing. I’ll take her for dinner on Air Pressure One … we’ve been fairly busy. However issues are figuring out very properly, and individuals are beginning to see how good tariffs are for us.”
“So the reply isn’t any and no. However good work slipping the tariffs in there!” Kimmel laughed. “So that they’re having dinner on the aircraft. What girls wouldn’t need to rejoice her birthday in Italy with airplane meals, watching her husband wolf down a 30-piece McNuggets and a liter of Weight-reduction plan Coke.”
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