Step proper up women and gents, girls and boys and lay your eyes on the rarest and most harmful of creatures: New York’s Largest Liar.
Hailing from the wilds of Albany, it is a conniving colossus of canards, a freak of fabrication, a behemoth of balderdash. We name it Andrew Cuomo.
Cautious, madam, cautious! Don’t get too near the bars, he’ll grope you.
Like his family members within the genus chamaeleo, the Cuomo’s means to alter its look will astound you. Right here he pretends to be a average Democrat, an animal considered extinct.
However put him in a room with others of its variety, and abruptly his form shifts.
He as soon as promised to let New Yorkers revenue from fracking, however growth, he turned inexperienced, banned it, then madly shut down the Indian Level nuclear energy plant, driving up electrical energy prices for everybody.
One of many Cuomo’s most memorable charades was when he pretended to be the Hero of Covid. He constructed paper mache mountains, pontificated concerning the science, then despatched scores of aged mother and father to die in nursing houses, the place the virus ran wild.
Sir! Don’t be fooled! He’ll attempt to declare the federal authorities instructed him to do it. Extra of his lies! Congress truly instructed he be criminally charged. Sure, for perjury!
He was additionally the governor who didn’t have an issue with individuals marching maskless and looting shops on the top of Covid — however stated that you just couldn’t go to a bar except you ordered a sandwich.
Hey, he’s a liar — the lies don’t at all times must make sense.
Younger girl, please, greatest maintain your distance. He’s been recognized to forcibly kiss.
Oh, he’ll inform you that half was all a witch hunt, suggesting that he’s allowed to fondle girls as a result of he’s Italian. Sure, fantastic gentleman within the again, he did say that!
However know that an eight-month investigation by the Meeting discovered “overwhelming proof” he sexually harassed girls.
The Legal professional Normal discovered the identical. Legislators additionally famous that he abused his energy to make his employees assist with a e-book he was paid $5 million to “write.” Depraved, tricksy and false!
Now good individuals, prepare. For the World’s Largest Liar is planning his most grand con but.
He goals to idiot the voters of New York Metropolis that he ought to be their mayor, that he’s probably the most wise, middle-of-the-road candidate there may be.
For sure, don’t imagine him.
Who! we ask. Who signed the justice “reforms” which means you possibly can’t lock up criminals? Who modified the invention legal guidelines, so extra circumstances are thrown out?
Who’s the explanation the clerk at Duane Reade must unlock the toothpaste for you?
We’re pointing to him now! Why he’s a minimum of the person who stands earlier than you, Raggedy Andy, the fabulist, the misleader, the maligner.
He has value you cash, made your metropolis much less protected, bungled a historic pandemic and, we hear, steals lollipops from infants.
Individuals of Gotham, he’s caged now, however don’t let him out. Ignore his delusions, dodge his hugs. You’ve seen his true colours. We are able to’t let his lies harm us once more.
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