Late-night hosts talked Donald Trump’s commerce warfare, Elon Musk’s waning fortunes and the decimation of the Environmental Safety Company (EPA).
Seth Meyers
Seth Meyers checked in on Elon Musk, head of the “division of presidency effectivity” (Doge), which has misrepresented the financial savings incurred by slashing the civil service. The Doge web site eliminated 1,000 entries on its record, almost half of the spending preparations it had listed earlier than; it additionally bragged about slashing an $8bn contract that was in truth solely price $8m. “He added three zeroes – which can be what Trump did when he had youngsters,” the Late Evening host quipped on Thursday night.
“Earlier than he received concerned in politics, Musk loved a fame as one of many smartest males on this planet and an inventor with out peer, and he couldn’t simply be glad with that,” he continued. “He additionally needed to indicate everybody that he was good at memes, after which one factor led to a different and now he’s waving chainsaws round and misplacing decimals, and it slowly dawns on folks: is it attainable for a genius to even be tremendous dumb? Like severely, how does somebody who calls himself an engineer confuse $8m with $8bn?
Musk has additionally tangled with Trump’s personal cupboard officers. He received into an “explosive” argument with the secretary of state, Marco Rubio, throughout a closed-door cupboard assembly, in keeping with the New York Occasions, and took warmth from the transportation secretary, Sean Duffy, for pressuring him to put off air site visitors controllers. “I’d be pissed too if I used to be a member of the president’s cupboard, confirmed by the Senate, vested with a statutory authority over a large authorities paperwork and white Morpheus over right here tells me to fireside air site visitors controllers,” mentioned Meyers.
“Though I do love the naivety of a Trump official coming to a cupboard assembly and being shocked that issues aren’t operating easily,” he added. “It’s like hiring your weed supplier as a babysitter and being stunned on the state of the home if you come house.”
With Tesla inventory down, nationwide protests at his dealerships and rightwing pundits turning on him, “Musk needed to flip to Trump for his assist in a determined and embarrassing infomercial on the White Home garden.”
Whereas displaying off Musk’s electrical automobiles on the White Home, Trump pronounced the model “Tes-ler”. “Think about how embarrassing it’s to ask somebody to advertise your product they usually can’t even get the title proper,” Meyers laughed.
“We’ve fostered a tradition of elite impunity in America, so I do not know if Musk will face any actual penalties for creating a lot pointless distress and chaos,” he concluded. “However the results on his backside line have been actual.”
Jimmy Kimmel
In Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel additionally mocked Trump’s right-hand billionaire. “You understand how he fired all these federal staff with out even realizing what they do? Nicely, a choose in the present day ordered hundreds of them to be rehired,” simply in time for the federal government to close down on Friday.
“Issues are operating like a Swiss clock,” Kimmel deadpanned. “You understand, there was a time when firing folks was the one factor Trump was good at! He can’t now even appear to do this.”
Additionally: “You understand how on the marketing campaign path each day, Trump promised that he would deliver costs down on day one? Nicely, I assume we’re beginning to lastly discover that he hasn’t.” A brand new ballot from CNN discovered that 56% of People disapproved of Trump’s dealing with of the financial system, “and that was earlier than he turned the White Home right into a Tesla showroom”, mentioned Kimmel. “People now are beginning OnlyFans to purchase eggs. However it’s nothing an pointless commerce warfare can’t repair.”
As a part of an effort to alienate all allies, Trump threatened a 200% on European alcohol imports this week. “And that’s notably unfair,” mentioned Kimmel. “He’s making it very costly to get drunk. He’s the rationale we have to get drunk!”
Stephen Colbert
And on The Late Present, Stephen Colbert regarded into the results of Trump’s commerce warfare, beginning with a report that comfort retailer customers are skimping on Doritos, Twinkies, Heath bars and cigarettes. “Then what the hell are folks having for breakfast?” he joked.
In the meantime, Trump’s “marvel wheel of random tariffs” has hit most US buying and selling companions. On Wednesday, the EU clapped again, instituting tariffs on plenty of American items together with bourbon, whiskey, denims and Harley-Davidson bikes. “That’s going to make it a lot tougher for European males to have a midlife disaster,” Colbert joked.
“In response to their response, Trump responded irresponsibly,” he continued, by threatening to place a 200% tariff on French champagne. “Which means any longer, we’ll have to christen our ships with bottles of ketchup.
“It’s not simply the financial system,” Colbert continued. “Trump additionally, and I need to be truthful, is ruining every thing,” as his Environmental Safety Company introduced it will repeal dozens of the nation’s most vital environmental laws, together with greater than two dozen protections in opposition to air and water air pollution. “I imply, simply even listening to that stresses me out. I would like a drink, man,” mentioned Colbert earlier than sipping a brown liquid. “Oh my God, that’s water.”
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