I am in a lifeboat station on the south coast, standing beneath the strict of a Shannon class rescue vessel, carrying a borrowed fisherman’s jumper and holding a banjo. There are lights on me, and I’m very a lot at sea.
My band has recorded a Christmas music to have a good time the 2 hundredth anniversary of the Royal Nationwide Lifeboat Establishment, and we’re right here to make the music video. As ordinary, the shoot consists of a bunch of younger folks ordering a bunch of previous folks to do mildly humiliating issues whereas filming them, like a care residence scandal drama set to music.
Past the lights there’s a small crowd of RNLI volunteers, their households and pals. They’re wearing festive knitwear with Christmas lights strung above their heads, though it’s November. The impact is a little dislocating, however that isn’t why I am at sea.
It’s conventional for Christmas songs to be recorded in excessive summer season, in sweltering studios, by musicians carrying shorts. This music had a fair earlier begin: I’ve received emails discussing the association stretching again to February, and tough recordings on my cellphone from March. Sooner or later a rival model emerged – with a utterly completely different melody – which all of us thought was an unlimited enchancment till we heard the 2 facet by facet after a three-week break and determined the unique was higher.
We had been nonetheless tinkering with the music in late August – by which level I’d heard it a number of hundred instances – however the banjo half I recorded a while in April survived largely intact, and that’s the reason I’m at sea: it was so way back that I can’t bear in mind methods to play it.
I ought to emphasise that I don’t really want to know methods to play it, as a result of we’re miming to a backing monitor. I simply have to look as if I understand how to play it. However this raises one other drawback: I can’t act. The one means for me to carry out a convincing impression of somebody enjoying a music is to understand how that music goes. And I don’t. I sidle as much as the guitar participant, who’s positioned simply forward of me.
“Are you able to simply flip barely so I can see your fingers once you’re enjoying?” I say.
“I believe they need me going through this fashion,” he says.
“Then are you able to present me what you’re doing within the second verse?”
“OK, everybody!” says the director. “Stand by to go once more.”
The crew have already filmed a static large shot overlaying the entire band and the lifeboat behind us. Presently they’re specializing in particular person members as we repeatedly fake to play via the music. Ultimately they are going to get to me.
There’s a break whereas they regulate the lights. I step in direction of our trumpet participant, who’s positioned to my proper.
“On the finish of the primary refrain,” I say, “is it A-flat or the F-minor?”
“I don’t even are available in till midway via,” she says.
We do one other take. I watch because the cameraman crowds the fiddle participant, who recreates the bow strokes of his half completely, even with a lens in his face. In the meantime, I sound as if I’m enjoying the model of the music we deserted six months in the past: the notes conflict horribly with the recorded playback.
I attempt to remind myself that it doesn’t matter. It’s extra essential, I believe, that when the digital camera finds me I’m not carrying an expression of panicked exasperation, which might be at odds with the emotional undercurrent of a Christmas music about lifeboats. I practise a glance of quiet confidence, and lose my means solely.
At first of the following run-through I shut my eyes and attempt to really feel my means into the music. After I open them it turns into clear it’s my flip. The digital camera is coming at me from throughout the room at an angle, closing in on my proper hand. As I play a collection of improper notes in time to the music, the digital camera pans as much as my face – the face of a person making an attempt to prise a stripped screw from a door body with a chisel.
Then, instantly, it’s over. The director says reduce, the assembled crowd applauds, and other people round me begin consuming cupcakes. I believe: you might have missed your likelihood to get this proper.
It’s only after I see the ultimate reduce of the video later that I realise how misplaced my fears had been. I seem solely fleetingly, there are virtually no photographs the place you possibly can see each my arms on the identical time, and my pained expression may simply be taken for resolve. Actually, I ought to’ve been extra apprehensive about my hair.
In any case, I really feel rescued.
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