The Joan Collins hangover remedy: Is that this the final word reply for overindulgence?

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The Joan Collins hangover remedy: Is that this the final word reply for overindulgence?

Title: The Joan Collins hangover remedy.

Age: 90.

Look: Surprisingly spritely.

Can this wait? I’ve obtained a blinding headache. Oh expensive, did we overindulge somewhat final evening?

Perhaps. I can’t bear in mind something that occurred after I vomited a Jägerbomb throughout the again seat of a taxi. Effectively, effectively, effectively, you already know what your drawback is?

Poor impulse management? No, it’s that you just didn’t observe the lead of the 90-year-old display screen matriarch Dame Joan Collins, who has simply shared her no-fail hangover plan with the world.

Superb, sure, no matter, at this level I’ll take something. What’s it? Prepared? Dame Joan advised the Solar that her secret is: “Tons and tons of water and keep in mattress so long as doable!”

That’s a bit garbage. What? No, it isn’t.

Sure, it’s. She stays in mattress for a complete day to remedy her hangover. Proper. And?

Isn’t she simply describing a hangover? So that you’re saying that Dame Joan Collins’s technique of curing a hangover doesn’t depend as a result of it includes behaving as if she really has a hangover?

Sure. It’s like saying that you just remedy a chilly by shivering and blowing your nostril quite a bit. Oh effectively, she isn’t a lot of a lairy beer monster anyway.

She isn’t? Oh no. Dame Joan additionally advised the Solar that she solely drinks socially, and has a glass of water between every drink.

So she doesn’t even get drunk? How can she have a hangover, then? I do know. It does sound as if she simply likes staying in mattress quite a bit, doesn’t it? However, hey, she’s 90. Let’s reduce her some slack.

This isn’t serving to my head. That’s high-quality, loads of different celebrities are completely happy to share their hangover cures. David Beckham takes an Alka-Seltzer earlier than mattress and a bacon sandwich within the morning, a trick he picked up from his grandad.

It’s a bit late now – all I had earlier than mattress was a cigarette. Superb, then what about Nigella Lawson, who opts for a standard prairie oyster (uncooked egg yolk, Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, brandy and vinegar, which you swallow in a single gulp).

Are you intentionally attempting to make me vomit? OK, OK. Paul Hollywood makes himself a bread and butter pudding. You might strive that?

I barely have the vitality to make Beckham’s bacon sandwich. Effectively, how about Daniel Craig’s remedy? He says his hangover remedy is Pedialyte, a diuretic you give to dehydrated children.

Sod this, I’m going again to mattress. See? Dame Joan Collins wins once more!

Do say: “Drink plenty of water and keep in mattress, and also you’ll look nearly as good as Joan Collins at 90.”

Don’t say: “Nice, now I’m hungover and I’ve moist the mattress.”


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