Stephen Colbert on Nikki Haley’s civil battle gaffe: ‘A ridiculous factor to overlook’

Stephen Colbert on Nikki Haley’s civil battle gaffe: ‘A ridiculous factor to overlook’

Stephen Colbert

For his first monologue of 2024, Stephen Colbert appeared forward to extra of the identical this yr: “Due to our inaction we’re having the identical presidential election with the identical two outdated males as final time, solely older and samer.”

Among the many similar issues in 2024: the Republican major beginning with the Iowa caucus final week, the place the previous South Carolina governor Nikki Haley is positioned to be “the frontrunner for first loser”.

Haley discovered herself in scorching water over the weekend after she flubbed a response to a query in regards to the civil battle – “I feel the reason for the civil battle was principally how authorities was going to run, the freedoms and what folks may and couldn’t do,” she mentioned.

“I’m sorry, the reply we have been on the lookout for is slavery,” the Late Present host corrected. “For the previous governor of South Carolina, that may be a ridiculous factor to overlook.”

In the meantime, Donald Trump continued his pandering to the evangelical voters of Iowa. “Trump is aware of methods to play to this flock, as a result of on Friday he went unto Fact Social and lo he has reposted this abomination,” mentioned Colbert, with a video claiming “God gave us Trump” as a “caretaker” for the nation.

“OK, advantageous, God made Trump,” mentioned Colbert. “However God additionally made that fish within the Amazon that swims up your peehole and shoots out spikes so you possibly can’t get it out, so I’m simply saying God has a blended file on making issues. By the way in which, Donald, have you considered going swimming within the Amazon?”

Seth Meyers

On Late Night time, Seth Meyers mocked Trump for a weird story on the marketing campaign path, wherein the Republican 2024 frontrunner mentioned folks repeatedly stopped to ask him: “Sir, how do you do it? How do you get up each morning and put in your pants?”

“So, let me see if I’ve this proper,” mentioned Meyers. “Individuals come as much as you, Donald Trump, the previous president and present four-time prison defendant, and their primary burning query for you is how do you set in your pants?

“I’ve sadly been listening to this man for the higher a part of a decade, and I’ve to say, he’s by some means changing into even much less coherent and that’s fairly a feat,” he added.

Meyers additionally famous an inventory of upcoming courtroom dates for the previous president so lengthy that cable information hosts declined to specify all of them. “It’s not good when an inventory of your ongoing courtroom circumstances ends with and so forth, and so forth,” mentioned Meyers. “Cable information is actually 24/7, and even they don’t have time to listing each trial date that Trump is going through.”

Jimmy Kimmel

And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel devoted his first monologue of 2024 to mocking Aaron Rodgers. The Jets quarterback lately drew Kimmel’s ire for claiming on an ESPN present, with out proof, that Kimmel can be named in lately launched paperwork about associates of Jeffrey Epstein.

“After which it did come out and, after all, my identify isn’t on it,” mentioned Kimmel. “I don’t know Jeffrey Epstein, I’ve by no means met Jeffrey Epstein, I’m not on an inventory, I wasn’t on a airplane or an island or something ever.”

Kimmel famous that the quarterback’s feedback performed into bigger conspiratorial considering: “Quite a lot of delusional folks actually imagine I’m assembly up with Tom Hanks and Oprah at Shakey’s as soon as every week to eat pizza and drink the blood of kids,” he mentioned.

“Both he really believes my identify was going to be on Epstein’s listing, which is insane,” he continued, “or the extra probably state of affairs is he doesn’t really imagine that, he simply mentioned it as a result of he’s mad at me for making enjoyable of his high knot and his lies about being vaccinated.

“He’s significantly upset, I feel, as a result of I made enjoyable of the truth that he floated this wacko concept that the UFO sightings that have been within the information in February have been being reported to distract us from the Epstein listing,” Kimmel theorized, taking part in again a clip from 2023 wherein Kimmel joked that Rodgers ought to “revisit the concussion protocol” for the NFL.

“So he noticed that and perhaps to retaliate he determined to insinuate that I’m a pedophile,” he mused. “That is how these nuts do it now. You don’t like Trump? You’re a pedophile. It’s their go-to transfer, and it reveals you the way a lot they really care about pedophilia.

“I feel Aaron Rodgers has the suitable to precise any opinion he needs to, however saying that somebody is a pedophile isn’t an opinion, neither is it trash discuss,” he added. Kimmel mentioned if Rodgers apologized, he would settle for it and transfer on.

“Once I do get one thing incorrect, which occurs on uncommon events. what I do? I apologize for it, which is what Aaron Rodgers ought to do, which is what an honest particular person would do, however I guess he gained’t,” he concluded.

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