Late-show hosts cowl numerous democracies in peril and a stunning new survey on Individuals’ Christmas preferences.
Stephen Colbert
With only a week remaining till Christmas, Stephen Colbert addressed severe reviews that many Individuals would favor burgers to turkey as their Christmas Day meal. “I’ve bought to ask: if we eat burgers on Christmas, what are we going to eat on the Fourth of July?” the Late Present host requested on Tuesday night. “This throws off the entire festive meals calendar. I can’t eat burritos on Arbor Day!”
It’s not simply burgers – 44% of survey respondents mentioned they would favor pizza, 38% picked tacos and 34% would select Chinese language takeout. “That 34% additionally celebrates Christmas by watching a film after which lighting Hanukah candles,” Colbert joked.
The survey additionally discovered that 47% of Individuals would favor to spend all of Christmas Day of their pyjamas, reasonably than dress up. “OK, I simply need to level out – you need to keep in what you slept in, keep away from your loved ones whereas consuming tacos and pizza? That’s not Christmas, that’s scientific despair,” mentioned Colbert.
In political information, Donald Trump held a press convention at Mar-a-Lago on Monday. “I’m not going to speak about it a lot, as a result of I don’t need to and you’ll’t make me,” mentioned Colbert. “As a matter of truth, I’m already completed.”
As a substitute, he took a extra international view. “It’s straightforward to get down concerning the potential collapse of democracy in America, however don’t neglect to additionally get down concerning the potential collapse of democracy in different nations, too, particularly amongst our allies,” he mentioned. Prior to now month, the South Korean president was impeached, the French authorities fell, and Germany confronted financial disaster and authorities collapse.
“Even our goodie two-shoes upstairs neighbors are having a tough run of it,” mentioned Colbert, as Justin Trudeau endures political disaster. The prime minister is now deeply unpopular, as Canadians have grown pissed off with the rising price of residing and issues round immigration. “Welcome to the membership,” Colbert mentioned in costume as Joe Biden. “Simply pardon your son, get the hell out of there after which purchase a few drones and fly them across the airport, have a good time.”
Seth Meyers
On Late Night time, Seth Meyers approached reviews that Robert F Kennedy Jr, Trump’s appointment for well being and human companies secretary, was noticed figuring out at an Equinox fitness center in tight denims and climbing boots. “And when you suppose that’s bizarre, wait till you hear each single different factor about him,” Meyers laughed.
In a put up on Reality Social final week, Trump claimed that he needs to finish daylight financial savings time, “whereas his adviser Stephen Miller simply needs to finish daylight”, Meyers joked, referring to Trump’s hardline anti-immigration staffer.
In accordance with a brand new survey, 83% of Republicans help Kennedy’s proposal to mandate diet schooling in federally funded faculties – “a revolutionary concept that they’ll’t imagine nobody considered earlier than”, Meyers deadpanned subsequent to a picture of Michelle Obama throughout her faculty diet initiative as first girl.
The survey additionally discovered that 74% of Individuals help Kennedy’s proposal to ban some meals components, together with sure meals dyes. “So prepare, children, for the brand new taste of Jolly Ranchers: plain!” Meyers quipped.
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