The Late Present host seems to be into the chaos created by Elon Musk’s unofficial “division of presidency effectivity” (Doge).
Stephen Colbert
“It seems like day-after-day we get information of one more inexplicable, chaotic transfer seemingly bent on undermining all the pieces we as People maintain expensive,” stated Stephen Colbert on Wednesday night. “And at present isn’t any completely different,” as KFC introduced it was shifting its company headquarters from Kentucky to Texas.
“What’s subsequent? Jersey Mike’s turns into Maine’s Mickeys?” he exclaimed. “Will Papa John step down because the pizza pope? Burger King abdicates his throne to nary a standard nugget?”
In the meantime, in Washington, “our authorities is getting spatchcocked by Elon Musk and his post-pubescent pink-slip troopers”, as Doge’s mass layoffs of presidency staff have been met with anger, chaos and confusion. “Which, coincidentally, are additionally the Secret Service code names for Trump, Elon and Don Jr,” Colbert quipped.
“Elon and the Doge-bags have fired so many individuals so rapidly, in so many vital areas, with so little thought beforehand, that the federal government is now scrambling to rehire the nuclear workers it fired on Friday,” Colbert defined. These are folks tasked with designing, constructing and overseeing the US nuclear weapons stockpile, after issues grew that their dismissal may threaten nationwide safety. “I share these issues,” stated Colbert.
However the authorities has struggled to achieve the folks it fired, after they have been locked out of their federal electronic mail accounts. “So now we’ve got a bunch of pissed-off folks with lots of time on their palms who know construct nuclear weapons! Properly, not less than you couldn’t discover them,” Colbert joked.
Additionally, “rehiring folks on Tuesday that you simply fired on Friday doesn’t scream ‘authorities effectivity’,” he famous.
Moreover, “it’s not precisely clear what Doge is. We all know it’s not an official authorities division, as a result of that must be established by an act of Congress. And we all know the man accountable for it has not been elected to any workplace or confirmed to any cupboard place. Up up to now, all we knew for sure about Doge is who that man in cost is.” That will be Musk, introduced because the chief of Doge by Donald Trump himself.
“Properly, it seems being an unelected donor operating an unauthorized worker kill squad would possibly get you sued in some unspecified time in the future sooner or later,” Colbert laughed. So in new authorized filings, the White Home claims that Musk is in actual fact not accountable for Doge. “What? It’s actually named after his favourite meme,” stated Colbert. “That is probably the most complicated management construction since Ruth’s Chris Steak Home.”
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