Late-night hosts discuss Donald Trump’s inauguration visitors and Pete Hegseth’s contentious Senate affirmation listening to for secretary of protection.
Seth Meyers
On Wednesday night, Seth Meyers recapped a tricky day on Capitol Hill for Trump’s secretary of protection nominee, Pete Hegseth – the previous Fox & Associates Weekend host many have dismissed as unqualified – who as soon as, because the Late Evening host recalled, unintentionally threw an axe at passersby in Manhattan.
“Until 4 Republican senators vote towards him, which they nearly definitely received’t, that man will lead probably the most highly effective army on the earth – a army that can hopefully institute a coverage for their very own security known as Don’t Axe, Don’t Inform,” Meyers quipped.
“The identical Maga motion that claims to be anti-war may be very a lot pro-Hegseth,” he famous, whilst Hegseth refused to say that he wouldn’t work for the protection business after he leaves the Pentagon, regardless of barring generals from doing the identical.
“Hegseth’s rule is that generals shouldn’t be capable of work for the protection business, however he ought to be capable to money in instantly when he needs to,” mentioned Meyers, “though he might need some hassle getting a company job given his prior administration report”.
Hegseth was reportedly faraway from two separate veterans’ teams over stories of extreme consuming, sexual harassment and monetary misconduct. These points should not lengthy prior to now; as lately as spring 2023, Hegseth allegedly ordered three gin and tonics at a weekday breakfast assembly with an acquaintance in Manhattan. “Three gin and tonics for breakfast on a workday?! Even my mom waits for Saturday to have that a lot breakfast gin,” Meyers marveled.
In the course of the listening to, Hegseth repeatedly dismissed the stories as “nameless smears”.
“Effectively, a minimum of we all know he’s sober for this, as a result of ‘nameless smears’ may be very arduous to say while you’re drunk,” Meyers joked.
“Additionally, they have been sure or no questions. You may’t simply preserve saying ‘nameless smears’, particularly since a few of these smears weren’t smears and weren’t nameless,” Meyers famous.
Jokes apart, “Hegseth is deeply unqualified,” Meyers concluded. “However his nomination is a check to see how loyal Republicans will likely be.”
Jimmy Kimmel
In Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel regarded forward to Trump’s inauguration, which can characteristic full-staff flags, regardless of the customary monthlong mourning interval for a former president (Jimmy Carter died on 29 December on the age of 100).
However, the speaker of the Home, Mike Johnson, declared all US flags on the Capitol will fly at full workers on inauguration day, “which could be probably the most Donald Trump-y factor Donald Trump has ever performed, to be mad {that a} man who simply died is getting all the eye”, Kimmel laughed.
Prior to now week, Trump has proposed a number of “bigly” concepts: shopping for Greenland, taking Greenland, co-opting Canada, reclaiming the Panama Canal, altering the title of the Gulf of Mexico and yesterday, “Uncle Rip-off introduced his plan to create a brand new authorities company to gather all these lovely tariffs he needs to impose,” Kimmel reported.
“From the individuals who introduced you the area pressure: the ‘exterior income service’”, he added. Trump claims the “ERS” will make certain different international locations pay their fair proportion – “and who is aware of extra about paying their fair proportion than the billionaire who paid $750 in taxes in 2016 and once more in 2017”.
In the meantime, Elon Musk remains to be set to steer the newly created “division of presidency effectivity”, as a result of “nothing says effectivity like a person who has 12 children with three totally different ladies”, Kimmel joked. “The concept that a personal residents whose firms do big quantities of enterprise with the federal authorities will quickly be accountable for authorities spending is nuts. Even for Donald Trump, that’s nuts.”
Musk will even get his personal workplace within the White Home advanced. He will likely be arrange within the Eisenhower constructing, which was “really a compromise”, mentioned Kimmel. “Initially, Elon wished to be in Trump’s bed room with him.”
Stephen Colbert
And on the Late Present, Stephen Colbert acknowledged Michelle Obama’s plan to skip Trump’s inauguration, with out offering an evidence. “Hm, what may or not it’s?!” he mock-wondered. “Some are speculating it’s health-related, and that she got here down with an incurable case of integrity. You recognize what she at all times says: once they go low, I am going byeeee.”
One confirmed particular visitor on the celebration: the rubbish truck Trump used for an notorious pre-election photo-op. “Personally, I discover this shocking for a number of causes,” mentioned Colbert. “First, these vehicles normally take out the rubbish.” And second, Trump nearly fell climbing into it, “so I assume he had the door deal with executed”.
“After all, numerous firms on the market are bellying as much as the all-you-can-smooch Trump butt buffet,” mentioned Colbert. That features Coca-Cola, which gifted Trump a particular inaugural Food plan Coke bottle that includes a picture of the White Home and Trump’s title.
“That’s it! I’ve had it with these firms. Food plan Coke is cozying as much as an authoritarian administration, I’m by no means consuming Food plan Coke once more!” Colbert fumed … earlier than cracking right into a recent can.
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