Never in its proud 60-year historical past has an allegation of such audacious dishonest been made towards a competitor within the World Conker Championships (WCC) as that levelled at 82-year-old David Jakins – “King Conker” himself, no much less.
As a competitor since 1977, and having lastly gained this 12 months’s males’s competitors, the holder of the King Conker honorary title and the “mascot” of the championships was subsequently discovered to have a metal conker in his pocket.
Jakins is adamant he by no means used it and he solely carries it round as a joke, however an inquiry is underneath approach by organisers of the world’s premier conker competitors, which was staged in Southwick, Northamptonshire, on Sunday.
Had King Conker as a substitute headed down the M1 to Peckham, south-east London, on Sunday to the choice Peckham Conker Championship, he – and his metal conker – would have been warmly embraced.
“That is Peckham. We’re a unique kind right here. Not nutty nerds. So we’ve got engineered a extra entertaining format: sort of ‘conkers meets Battle Membership’. Our pitch is Battle Royale guidelines, which suggests there aren’t any guidelines,” mentioned Chris Quigley, 48, co-founder of the Peckham Conker Membership. Certainly, dishonest is positively inspired.
There are all kinds of the way to cheat in conkers, the quintessentially British recreation seemingly first talked about within the 1821 memoirs of English romantic poet Robert Southey, although snail shells had been then the weapons of alternative. It wasn’t till 1848 that horse chestnuts had been recorded as getting used, on the Isle of Wight.
Over generations each schoolchild knew the right way to harden their nut to realize playground benefit; oven-baked, vinegar-soaked, sock drawer aged, coated with clear nail varnish.
Whereas the WCC could also be a purist paradise, in Peckham, “something goes”. “We’ve had epoxy resin conkers. Conkers lined in superglue. That 82-year-old with the metal conker, he’d have nailed it at Peckham,” mentioned Quigley, who based the membership in 2017 with just a few buddies, however noticed greater than 1,000 rivals and spectators at Sunday’s championships.
Nut “pimping” (the place you harden your nut), “tangles” (which entails tangling your string in your opponent’s and tugging), and “stampsies” (the place you stamp on the fallen conker), are all permitted.
To boost the conker battle, Peckham additionally permits particular strikes: Tremendous Chopper, a “rabid helicopter-style transfer”; Gravity Strike, leaping excessive to return down in your opponent’s conker; Aspect Winder, a single or double aspect flip adopted by a 45-degree gravity strike. Conkerers can get suggestions from the Peckham web site and equip themselves with the favored Nut Sack of pre-holed conkers and a Battle Pack package.
“There’s a lot of tangling and wrestling, and attempting to stamp on the opposite individual’s conker. They wouldn’t be allowed to do this on the world championships,” mentioned Quigley, a tech entrepreneur from Peckham.
It could possibly get a little bit furry. “For the previous two years, an Italian man referred to as Pietro the Pummeler has gained. On his route, within the semi-finals final 12 months, he smashed a tooth. Blood in all places and it was all fairly dramatic. And this man, he had a stunning pearly set of white enamel. Sure, stuff occurs.”
St John Burkett, spokesperson for the extra sedate WCC, mentioned: “One of many nice issues about conkers is how a lot you may cheat. However we’ve got guidelines which mitigate towards that.”
The three,500 conkers for this 12 months’s WCC had been collected simply two to 3 days beforehand and blind picked from a bag by rivals, who come from everywhere in the world, to stop tampering.
Might they secretly swap them? “Properly, you’d should have superb sleight of hand with the variety of judges we’ve received. Two every on a podium, seven podiums. That’s 14 judges plus the chief umpire. You’re watched like a hawk.” To not point out the two,000 eagle-eyed spectators.
He added: “In different occasions, something goes. Stampsies and so forth. They’re the choice championships, with totally different guidelines.” Up to now the WCC has raised greater than £400,000 for blind and partially sighted charities.
Its guidelines stipulate that there should be not less than 8in (20cm) of shoelace between the nut and participant’s knuckle, gamers take three alternating strikes, any knocked-off conker that doesn’t smash will be rethreaded, greater than three snags or tangles results in disqualification, and if no conker is smashed gamers proceed underneath the five-minute knockout rule till one misses.
Huge conkers should not essentially the very best, since they supply a bigger goal. “My godfather gained the championships twice, and he used to say the very best conker was one which had handed by a pig,” mentioned Burkett. The most effective gamers will need to have glorious hand-eye coordination, technique and talent, regardless of the dimensions of their conker.
Keith Flett, organiser for the Marketing campaign for Actual Conkers, believes the very best conkers have a pointy edge, “which will be fairly efficient in shattering your opponent’s [conker].” A lifelong participant, he has no truck with the WCC guidelines. “The underside line is it needs to be a enjoyable factor to get pleasure from, not a spectator sport, and never one thing lined by every kind of guidelines saying you may’t do that, or that.
“As quickly as you begin on that individuals assume ‘I can’t be bothered. I’ll go and have a look at a display as a substitute.’”
The general WCC winner this 12 months was a girl. Girls have gained six out of the final 10 years.
Kelci Banschbach, 34, initially from Indianapolis, Indiana, gained the ladies’s title to then beat Jakins within the grand ultimate – and obtained a trophy, a tea towel and a coaster.
Winner of the Peckham Conker Championships, in the meantime, took house the “Golden Nut”, a horse chestnut lined in 22ct gold gilt. “Undoubtedly the very best prize in conkers,” mentioned Quigley.
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