Late-night hosts mentioned America’s “monarchy period” as Donald Trump and Elon Musk try and dismantle authorities rules and oversight.
Jon Stewart
“Nicely, it’s been a superb run, America,” mentioned Jon Stewart on Monday’s Day by day Present, after surveying all the strikes by Donald Trump and Elon Musk to unilaterally lower funding, shutter authorities businesses and in any other case bend energy to their will. “It appears like we’re changing into much less just like the constitutional republic it’s been for 250 years and extra just like the monarchy that all of us fought to flee from.”
With the point out of monarchy, Stewart was interrupted by John Oliver, former Day by day Present correspondent and famously British commentator for Final Week Tonight.
“I’m right here to brag,” Oliver mentioned. “America had its little enjoyable, didn’t you, in experimenting with democracy? You fought so arduous to get away from us. Appearing up, throwing all that tea into the harbor. You continue to owe us for that, by the best way.
“You informed everyone that you just had been gonna be completely different,” he continued. “You weren’t gonna end up like your imply previous dad, who was so horrible to you while you had been rising up. So we sat again. We allow you to spend your wild teen years experimenting together with your ridiculous concepts of checks and balances, as a result of deep down we knew that when you bought that nonsense out of your system, you’d be again.
“Let me be the primary to welcome America to its monarchy period,” he added.
Stewart tried to interject, and clarify that America wouldn’t settle for the imperial mannequin. “Oh actually?” Oliver laughed. “Have you ever seen something America’s carried out during the last 50 years? As a result of for a rustic that doesn’t need to be an empire, you’re doing a fairly fucking good impression of 1 proper now.
“Invasions, financial exploitations, and now suggesting turning Gaza right into a beachfront on line casino?” he added. “Even King George would have been like, ‘I don’t know, guys. Feels just like the scenario’s a bit extra sophisticated than that, and I’m actually dying of medieval mind illness.’”
Oliver was persuasive sufficient for Stewart to have a miserable realization: “We actually have develop into our father.”
“Don’t be unhappy about it,” Oliver replied in comfort. “The arc of historical past is so lengthy it will definitely turns into a circle – and you find yourself proper the place you began.”
Seth Meyers
On Late Night time, Seth Meyers speculated that Donald Trump had, uncharacteristically, no subject with Elon Musk changing into the central determine of his presidency. “He is aware of Elon Musk is the richest man on the planet, and that he spent nearly $300m to get him elected and save his ass from jail,” Meyers mentioned. “And now Elon is taking an axe to the identical authorities Trump tried to overthrow, a authorities that will in any other case regulate all of the shady shit Trump and his household do to earn a living.
“Why wouldn’t Trump be pleased?” he continued. “He doesn’t must be the dangerous man. When individuals get mad and say, ‘You’ll be able to’t lower most cancers analysis and schooling funding, Trump can simply say, ‘Hey, that’s Elon.’”
Requested by Fox Information a couple of federal decide blocking Musk’s ”division of presidency effectivity” (Doge) from accessing authorities fee and information methods, Trump defended his lieutenant: “He’s not gaining something. The truth is, I ponder how he can dedicate the time to it, he’s so into it.”
Meyers disagreed: “After all, the richest man on this planet, who owns a social media firm, and a automotive firm, and a medical machine firm, and a rocket firm, and has protection contract with the US and enterprise relationships with China, has quite a bit to achieve from gutting monetary oversight and accessing the US fee system,” he fumed. “You assume you’ll be able to simply launch a rocket into house with out going by way of some authorities pink tape?”
Musk has particularly focused the Client Finance Safety Bureau, created after the 2008 monetary disaster to guard residents from monetary scams. “How can it’s any extra apparent?” Meyers laughed. “That is like getting employed as a financial institution teller after which saying, ‘, I feel we must always do away with the safety cameras, and it’s chilly in right here, so I’m going to begin sporting a ski masks to work.’”
Jimmy Kimmel
And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel recapped a fairly boring Tremendous Bowl, through which the Philadelphia Eagles blew out the Kansas Metropolis Chiefs, 40-22. “You nearly needed to really feel sorry for the Chiefs, as bizarre as that sounds,” he mentioned. “Not solely did they get blown out, they received blown out on Tubi, of all locations. It’s by no means a superb signal when probably the most dramatic a part of a Tremendous Bowl recreation is Harrison Ford speaking about his Jeep.
“To me, the perfect half was listening to Tom Brady faux that he was not ecstatic about Patrick Mahomes not profitable Tremendous Bowl quantity 4,” he added. “The happiest Goat is a lonely Goat.”
Taylor Swift didn’t have a superb night time, both – her boyfriend misplaced, and Eagles followers booed her when she was proven on the jumbotron. After all, Trump took the chance to make it about himself, posting on Fact Social: “She received BOOED out of the Stadium. MAGA could be very unforgiving!”
“Nicely, she didn’t get booed out of the stadium – in contrast to you, she stayed for the entire recreation,” Kimmel corrected. “And it was the Eagles followers that had been booing her. However you’re proper, it’s all about you, it’s at all times all about you.
“Trump’s simply jealous of Taylor Swift as a result of she has extra followers and extra money and no youngsters than he does,” he added.
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