In the 2024 election, ladies turned out for Kamala Harris, whereas males had been instrumental in securing Donald Trump’s win, based on early polling info. In some instances, these ladies and men had been married to one another or in any other case romantically concerned. In different relationships, it was the boys who voted for Harris, whereas their feminine companions voted for Trump.
Right here, Individuals who voted otherwise from their companions shared with the Guardian how such partisan views have affected their relationship, what it was wish to “cancel out” a cherished one’s vote, and why some saved their votes secret. Some requested to maintain their identities nameless to debate private issues.
‘The one factor holding me on this marriage is my youngsters’
I’m voting for Harris, and I battle about it typically with my husband. I’m disgusted with him for a way he has modified from the person I married to supporting a candidate who’s anti-everything in our private lives. We’ve got a trans baby, a feminine baby, a disabled baby, mixed-race grandchildren, all of whom are hated by the Maga occasion. I’ve at all times been an unbiased feminist who bases beliefs on logic, info and empathy. Dwelling with an individual who can’t admit to being unsuitable when info are introduced and now not helps unbiased ladies is its personal type of hell. The one factor holding me on this marriage is my youngsters. Fortunately, they’re juniors in highschool, so I solely have one and a half years to be caught in it. Nameless, caretaker, indie writer and editor, 47, Illinois
‘I hate mendacity to her, however it’s for the perfect’
I’ve been relationship my girlfriend for 10 months. We met by means of a mutual pal at her church, and obtained alongside immediately. I like her to demise. We celebrated Halloween and dressed up as ghosts.
I secretly voted for Kamala Harris. I informed my girlfriend that I wasn’t voting, and he or she doesn’t doubt it. She as soon as mentioned that Trump is America’s final hope, and that he’s God’s chosen candidate. It was horrifying. I used to be internally screaming “WTF”. She has additionally mentioned that the allegations in opposition to him are all lies; a part of a “secret plot” to destroy him. However I wasn’t prepared to speak about it. I really feel dishonest. I hate mendacity, however it’s for the perfect. I’d hate to see her go insane over my vote, however I do know she would. Not solely that, however her father would disapprove of our relationship if he knew. He would disapprove of her only for relationship me. I can’t threat that, ever. Nameless, pc science scholar, 22, Joplin, MO
‘He calls me silly’
It has been hell for the reason that second Trump introduced his candidacy. Hubby, who voted for Clinton and Obama (he says he now regrets doing that), is brainwashed Maga to the core and watches Fox incessantly. It was affecting my bodily and emotional well being. He makes use of abusive language, calls me silly after I clarify my fundamental considerations are training, well being, local weather change, ethical requirements and so forth. He’s an previous man who has felt disenfranchised and diminished by social change.
I met him in a membership on a ladies’ evening, and we’ve been married for 37 years. No youngsters, however he has a daughter and two granddaughters from a earlier marriage who I’ve a terrific relationship with. And we have now a cat! The evil spewed by Trump has made our life weird. However at this level, I’m in it for the lengthy haul. Nameless, retired educator and scientist , Florida
‘We are going to nonetheless have intercourse tonight’
It’s election evening as I write this. I’m sitting within the nursery holding our five-month previous child whereas he naps. My conservative husband is downstairs with our six-year previous, most likely listening to reside election protection that leans far proper in perspective. He requested me how I used to be feeling in the present day and I mentioned fantastic. I do know after I’m on my deathbed, I can’t be fascinated about Donald Trump, I’ll be considering of my household. I’ll be considering of my husband who sure, voted for Trump not as soon as however 3 times however can also be sensible (sure, very sensible), and my favourite particular person on the earth. Now that the ballot outcomes are pouring in, I really feel upset that my husband can assist a misogynistic, racist and manipulative candidate. I additionally heard my husband’s considerations about one other 4 years of a liberal management, and he isn’t unsuitable. He’s simply much less proper. And we are going to nonetheless have intercourse tonight. Susie, 39, from Colorado
‘My spouse expects Trump to cease funding mass slaughter’
I voted for Jill Stein. Nearly each Democrat we met voted for Jill Stein as a result of she opposes what is occurring within the Ukraine and Gaza (and the West Financial institution), particularly Gaza. My spouse voted for Donald Trump as a result of she doesn’t consider a phrase he really says and he or she expects him to cease funding mass slaughter. We expect equally about politics, however my spouse doesn’t need the Democrats in energy as a result of they’re warmongers, whereas I can’t vote for anybody who endorses a genocide or an unjust warfare. Voting otherwise hasn’t affected our relationship within the least. Nameless, artist, 69, Tucson, Arizona
‘I wrote in Jesus Christ, my husband voted Trump’
I couldn’t vote for Harris as a result of she is pro-abortion, and powerful on that. Though I’m strongly pro-life, I do assume legal guidelines should be refined to guard ladies who’re miscarrying and to guard the lifetime of the mom. I couldn’t vote for Trump as a result of he’s mentally ailing and unstable. I believe he has turned the immigration challenge into racism. My greatest points are to guard and assist Israel, to discover a humane solution to display screen immigrants and assist true asylum seekers, whereas defending our nation from actual criminals, not illegals. So I wrote in Jesus Christ. My husband voted Trump. We can conform to disagree. We each have freedom to vote our conscience. Nameless, retired RN and homeschool trainer, 58, Kingston, Tennessee
‘Our love is extra vital than our disagreements’
My spouse and I’ve been collectively since 2019, married in 2022. I voted for Harris, she didn’t. It’s been a pressure on our relationship and we have now developed insurance policies – equivalent to when it will get too heated, both of us can say “peace out” – and we’re engaged on listening completely to one another. The election received’t have an effect on our relationship. We’ve agreed on that! Our love is extra vital than our disagreements. Ross R Mason, 62, vice-president at EarthX Media Inc, Dallas, Texas
after e-newsletter promotion
‘I don’t really feel like my finest self when I’ve to defend my values to my partner’
I actually don’t perceive how my husband can like Trump. We used to make enjoyable of him when he was on The Apprentice. He is a great man, and he believes these buffoons. I voted for Harris. I assist ladies’s reproductive rights, and that was one of the vital points for me. I additionally really feel that she is sane and never divisive. My husband and I agreed when Harris obtained on the ticket that we might not talk about politics. If we do, it sours our relationship. It has labored for probably the most half. I don’t really feel like my finest self when I’ve to defend my values to my partner. Nameless, librarian, 47, from Oregon
‘I like his dedication to do his finest’
About 27 years in the past, I met my husband on a blind date. Two years later, we married. He voted for Trump, I voted for Harris. It’s not a secret; my husband is aware of what’s vital to me. I’m extraordinarily aggravated by his choice for Fox Information, which I see as a profitable propaganda machine. Nevertheless, whereas I don’t look after his political views and practices, I like his mental capability, his humorousness and his dedication to do his finest. Nameless, retired educator, 78, from Tucson, Arizona
‘He selected a misogynistic racist over me’
We’ve been married 40 too a few years and mainly canceled one another’s votes. I’ve been concerned in politics since my 20s and think about myself as a liberal. There have been many arguments since my husband began to espouse Trump gaslighting. I hate the truth that he would select a misogynistic racist over me, a lady. Abortion and immigration points mattered to me this election. Most of our relations got here to the US as illegals and now this immigration rhetoric comes up? We each agreed to not talk about politics, although. We’ll carry on holding on. Rebeca Guevara, 76, retired nurse from Laredo, Texas
‘This makes me query the connection’
My associate is aware of who I voted for, however we simply don’t speak about politics. I’d love to have the ability to have a dialogue with him in regards to the points, however he often adjustments the topic. Whereas I think about myself a reasonable (I’d vote for somebody like Mitt Romney if he was the Republican candidate), he will get most of his political insights from Fox Information. He sees Trump as robust and believes that he’d be worse off financially if Harris had received (he and I are each in place financially, however we’re not almost wealthy sufficient to be higher off below Trump).
We met on-line nearly two years in the past and are in a dedicated relationship, however we each have youngsters from earlier marriages and should not planning to reside collectively anytime quickly. The actual fact we will’t also have a dialogue in regards to the election makes me query the connection. Nameless, 51, Columbus, Ohio, with a administration place in engineering
Responses have been edited for readability.
Learn extra of the Guardian’s 2024 US election protection
Supply hyperlink