Festive dig at Dominic Cummings voted prime new Christmas cracker joke


Quips about lockdown, Zoom, Eat Out to Assist Out, Donald Trump and Boris Johnson additionally featured closely in TV channel Gold’s annual competitors.

Now in its eighth 12 months, the competition challenged entrants to give you the perfect topical and fashionable Christmas cracker jokes, which had been then voted on by the general public.

The winner was: “What’s Dominic Cummings’ favorite Christmas track? – Driving Residence for Christmas.”

Writer of the joke, Craig from Manchester, received £1,500 in direction of a vacation and a field of bespoke crackers, one in every of which can comprise his champion chuckle.

Entries for the competitors had been shortlisted by a panel of judges, led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau, and put to an nameless public vote of two,000 adults.

Mr Dessau mentioned: “Amongst one of many strangest and most turbulent years but, we are able to all the time depend on British humour to drag us by.

“With topics starting from Zoom and self-isolation to Boris Johnson and Dominic Cummings, there are jokes right here to tickle everybody after a difficult 12 months.”

Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, added: “The festive interval is a time for reflection, and though the nation has actually had a troublesome 12 months, it is heartening to see that British wit stays as sharp as ever.”

– Gold’s prime 20 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2020 are:

1. What’s Dominic Cummings’ favorite Christmas track? Driving Residence for Christmas.

2. Did you hear that manufacturing was down at Santa’s workshop? Lots of his staff have needed to elf isolate.

3. Why did not Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem? All Virgin flights had been cancelled.

4. Why are Santa’s reindeer allowed to journey on Christmas Eve? They’ve herd immunity.

5. Why did the pirates have to enter lockdown? As a result of the “Arrrr!” price had risen.

6. Why is it greatest to think about 2020 like a panto? As a result of ultimately, it is behind you.

7. Why could not Mary and Joseph be part of their work convention name? As a result of there was no Zoom on the inn.

8. Why cannot Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake till the final minute? He would not know what number of tiers it ought to have.

9. What do the Trumps do for Christmas dinner? They placed on a brilliant unfold.

10. Which Christmas movie was 30 years forward of its time? Residence Alone.

11. How do you play Dominic Cummings Monopoly? Ignore the principles, transfer anyplace on the board you want, and by no means Go To Jail.

12. Why will not Santa lose any presents this 12 months? He is downloaded Sack and Hint.

13. How is the pandemic like my abdomen after Christmas? It will take ages to flatten the curve.

14. How is Prince Andrew dealing with the stresses of Christmas this 12 months? Tremendous. No sweat.

15. Why wasn’t Rudolph allowed to participate in vaccine trials? As a result of they solely wished guinea pigs.

16. Which Authorities scheme helps Christmas dinner? Eat Sprout To Assist Out.

17. How will you get out of speaking to your boss at this 12 months’s employees Christmas celebration? Put him on mute.

18. How does Santa maintain monitor of all of the fireplaces he is visited? He retains a logbook.

19. Who clothes in purple and provides to the youngsters this Christmas? Marcus Rashford.

20. Why did Mary and Joseph need to journey to Bethlehem? As a result of they could not guide a house supply. 

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