Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert opened Monday’s Late Present with the state funeral for Queen Elizabeth II in London on Monday, a prolonged procession during which King Charles and his three siblings walked behind the coffin for 1.5 hours. “That’s not straightforward – for years, the royal household’s solely type of train has been strolling again statements from Andrew,” Colbert quipped.
The procession required 22 miles of obstacles in central London alone. “In fact, these within the metropolis who wished to know precisely the place the procession was at anyone second alongside the route might simply obtain the Domino’s Monarch Tracker,” Colbert joked.
Colbert then turned to home issues, notably to the stunt pulled final week by the Florida governor, Ron DeSantis, who despatched two planes stuffed with Venezuelan asylum seekers to Martha’s Winery with none forewarning. “Seems, it was means worse than we imagined as a result of he really kidnapped them from Texas,” Colbert defined. “For a man who acts so involved about borders, he doesn’t appear to know the place his state ends.
“Why is the governor of Florida spending his taxpayers’ cash to grab asylum seekers in Texas? As a result of he can learn their minds,” Colbert deadpanned, taking part in a video during which DeSantis justified his actions by saying that a lot of the asylum seekers meant to go to Florida. “Come on, nobody intends to go to Florida,” Colbert contended. “You’re compelled to go there for 2 causes: you’re about to die and need to eat pudding subsequent to an alligator, otherwise you need to try this Disney factor and construct your individual gentle saber.”
Seth Meyers
“As they begin to fear about their midterm prospects, Republicans are turning to their favourite election 12 months scare tactic by mendacity about immigration, highlighted by an particularly merciless and sadistic stunt by Florida governor Ron DeSantis,” mentioned Seth Meyers on Monday’s Late Night time.
DeSantis’s determination to fly asylum seekers to Martha’s Winery was “a stunt designed totally to curry favor with Fox Information, who he apparently alerted beforehand”, Meyers famous.
“So congrats, Florida, you simply spent a bunch of taxpayer cash on a silly and repulsive stunt that achieved nothing besides perhaps some publicity for Ron DeSantis’s 2024 presidential bid,” he added. “And, worse than that, you gave the wealthy liberals who summer time on Martha’s Winery one other factor to really feel self-righteous about.
“On high of the numerous methods during which this stunt is ghoulish and merciless,” he added, NPR reported that the migrants have been lured on to the airplane underneath false pretenses and instructed they might be flown to Boston for expedited work papers.
“The Republican get together is an establishment constructed nearly totally round spectacles of cruelty and humiliation, and that’s how you understand they’re determined,” Meyers concluded. “They’re resorting to horrific scare ways and grotesque stunts in an effort to gin up one more election 12 months panic in regards to the border.”
Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel additionally touched on the Queen’s funeral, which “stretched for miles, much like what goes on right here in America when Popeye’s comes out with a brand new hen sandwich”.
And he disputed Trump’s characterization of the FBI’s seizure of labeled paperwork at Trump’s residence in Mar-a-Lago final month. Over the weekend, Trump posted on Reality Social: “I’ll quickly be heading to the scene of the unwarranted, unjust, and unlawful Raid and Break-in of my residence in Florida, Mar-a-Lago.”
“Unwarranted? The FBI actually had a warrant,” Kimmel mentioned. “And let’s clear one other factor up: what occurred at Mar-a-Lago was not a raid or a break-in. They requested him to return the paperwork, they usually solely confirmed as much as take them when he didn’t.
“This isn’t a raid or a break-in. A break-in is what Trump used to do within the Miss Universe dressing room.”
Trevor Noah
And on the Every day Present, Trevor Noah laughed at a British information anchor calling queueing a “nationwide pastime” regarding the Queen’s funeral. “That’s an attention-grabbing takeaway,” mentioned Noah. “I believe additionally they just like the Queen however that is true: apparently, standing in line is actually in style in Britain. It’s like their nationwide pastime.
“And earlier than you make enjoyable of them for doing one thing so boring, don’t neglect America’s nationwide pastime is baseball – when folks act as if somebody died however they didn’t,” he added.
Noah additionally praised David Beckham for declining to skip the queue and ready in line to pay his respects, “which is actually admirable, particularly when you think about that you simply don’t know who you’re going to be caught in that line with”. There could possibly be an Arsenal fan behind him for 20 hours “identical to, ‘man, United ain’t shit this season! Arsenal! Arsenal!’”
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